in other words

It's interesting that I always feel that I can't describe the way I am feeling because the words don't exist. Then you learn that the Hawaiian alphabet only has 14 letters and suddenly I feel ashamed and everything around me seems a little more...........sad. Well, not sad but depressing, not depressing but unfortunate, not unfortunate but heavyhearted, not heavyhearted but unhappy, in other words, sad.

Sometimes "good" doesn't qualify for how I feel but I usually settle for it because few people understand what it means when I tell them I feel like the sound of cracking thunder. There are no words for how sunlight makes me feel or for how good Italian food tastes. And there are certainly no words to express the way a person feels when someone they love dies or the way we are all going to feel when we finally finish high school. I feel like I am a detective searching for words to explain all these things in my life and over the years I have gotten better. I know the reason Cubans would travel 90 miles from their home to the Florida coast and drag themselves on the shore is for a thing called freedom. and I know meaning of subtraction and I have learned that Love means more than just kissing and that it can be a synonym for friendship and passion and weakness all at the same time. I have figured out that "us" might be the most beautiful word in the English language and its definition doesn't do it justice.
But in all my years of searching and reading the only word I have found that comes close to describing the relationship I have with you is "complicated."

~sasha fierce~