where I'm at

Have you ever just wanted to be someones person??
Does that even make sense (it will)
also where is the apostrophe supposed to go in someones??
I don't care (what else is new)
I'm not sure if that is a good introduction
or if that even qualifies as an introduction
I don't even know what I'm writing anymore so I just ramble and press
enter
whenever I feel like the moment is right
Ok that was annoying we are going back to this, my ramble-y posts because that's all I am good for anymore okay yes this is much better, also this has nothing to do with what I want to say to you people but (also who even reads this anymore?? anyone?? hello out there) I am just wondering now that this class is over, I've reread all my blog posts for sentimental reasons (also I am lame, remember?) and I don't know what any of this is, like when people ask "oh what do you write?" (no one asks me that) what am I supposed to say? Is this prose? Is this poetry?? Or are these just journal entries? Can I write a book that is just full of journal entries? Can I consider all the thoughts in my brain poetry?? WHO MAKES THE RULES HERE?!??! (Me, God, Ronda? Obama? Nelson, the kids who sit by the knight at lunch??)

Okay, back to being someone's (I googled it) person. Right now/always I feel like I am friends with someone and things are good and  okay let me start over, Have you ever felt like you like your friends more than they like you? (same) Or you think you and your friend are really good friends and maybe even *~best~friends~* and then you find out that they have other friends who might possibly have a closer bond with your said best friend than you do and your brain is just like "oh okay that's cool I don't mind I'm fine" and then you work 4 Fridays in a row and you don't even notice because you didn't have plans anyways??! I don't know what I am saying. I have had best friends, but they were temporary best friends kind of, I still had to tip toe around them and control myself and I couldn't be real with them. But this is also a two way street because I do have friends who are real with me and sometimes real people can be real annoying. (I'm horrible, I know, we all know, lets get past this please) Basically I just want a best friend that works, and I know that is at least half (probably more) my fault that these things just don't work out but I want to change. (now the part about being someone's person) I just want to have a mutual feeling "yeah I like this person, they are fun I want to be around them more often" (I don't know if there is an actual word for that?) I want to have someone to call up and we can sit in the car and talk or we can go running through the streets, we can sometimes go crazy but we can also just sit around and be lazy and we can laugh in front of each other and cry also without feeling embarrassed (is that possible) I want someone to motivate me to be a better person but not be all judgmental when I am to lazy to change, and I want to be that for someone too. I want someone to be bored and call me to do something or just check in to see how I am doing or give me free stuff just because they like me. I want a person, and I want to be someone's person
This is why best friends are hard.
But maybe until this miracle of a friendship happens I'll just sit here and write about all the boys and mental crisis's I am dealing with, does that make you my best friend oh near and dear blog?
..
I think I have reached the bottom, I am now the lamest person alive, Justin Bieber exists, and I am more lame than he is.

Well, if we are going to start this relationship off right I better (re)introduce myself
hi
(hello? hey? sup?? wassup??)
(sorry I haven't done this in a while)
I'm Hannah.